Friday, June 29, 2007

The Non-Financial Costs of Weddings

A lot has already been written about how extravangent and over-the top weddings have become cost-wise, but there are other, less obvious costs to weddings.

Because they have become such big, important affairs with a bevy of unwritten etiquette rules which many guests and family members are unfamiliar with, they can cause tremendous arguments and social rifts between family members and friends.

Family Strain
My parents and I had a lot of incredibly nasty fights over their attempts to insert things and people into the ceremonies who my wife and I did not want. One of my family members did something embarrassing and awful at the reception when they thought they were being sweet.

Lost Friends
From a friendship standpoint: One of my good friends promised he would come, but never showed up (which still cost us the $300+ with the caterer and others). I called him when I got back from my honeymoon and left a voicemail, but I never heard from him again.

So the final cost: strained relations with many family members, and one really close friend lost. The high expense of the wedding made the ceremony's perfection all the more important, and also aggrevated the harm caused by people's etiquette blunders.


Angie Hartford said...

Perhaps what we're doing as a society is expecting a whole lotta perfection. What would a good enough wedding look like? What would the financial and emotional costs of this event be like?

Scary thought: if you have a perfect wedding, then must you be the perfect wife/husband, and have a perfect marriage?

Alex said...

Its hard when you have a couple together, you almost magnify each other's irrational spending, because you are afraid what the other person will say if you try to not spend as much on such an important occasion.